IR #043

In a shocking announcement by newly crowned BCCI president Shashank Manohar, the Board for Control of Cricket in India has announced that they will be organizing an event in June 2016 that will be similar in lines of the Hunger Games to find quality fast bowlers for the struggling Indian Cricket Team.

Tentatively called “Karenge Ya Marenge”, the event is set to select the top fast bowlers from each of the Ranji Trophy teams and pit them is a series of challenges that will result in only the best bowler surviving till the very end. This bowler will be picked in the National team directly and will be the official spearhead of the Indian bowling attack.

“We have faced enough issues with our so called fast bowlers in the past,” said Manohar in a private conversation with the journalist. “Many times we were fooled into believing that bowlers like Munaf Patel, Bhuvi etc are actual fast bowlers. Our main criteria for judging a fast bowler was if he could bowl faster than Anil Kumble’s normal delivery. This led us to field many such bowlers and get shamed in international tournaments,” remarked Shashank Manohar.

It is also rumored that the event will be televised live like Bigg Boss, with Pepsi and Sahara currently in a bidding war to be the official sponsor of the KYM program. The elimination however can happen anytime and will usually not be suitable for family audiences. The players who are selected will have to sign a disclaimer that the BCCI is not responsible for any accidents, injuries or even death (which is certain). Any player who decides not to compete after receiving the invitation will also be giving up any possibility of playing in the Indian National team in the future.

The new BCCI president also stated that a competition of this kind will also weed out wannabe bowlers who will no longer call themselves fast bowlers. This will also lead to a sudden surge in the number of medium pace bowlers in the Ranji Trophy circuit making selection for truly deserving players more viable.

He refused to comment on what the challenges will be, in what environment the bowlers will be tested in or the weapons they will have at their disposal. He also refused to comment on the legality of such games and also on the repercussions on the domestic circuit.

His ended the conversation by saying, “The audience better be ready. We will stay as true to the original as possible.”

This article was originally published on Faking News.